It seems like years
since I have seen a blade of green grass arise from the white death others like
to call snow. It is a never ending treacherous part of nature that bares the
trees and leaves us scavenging for what is left for food. Normally I wouldn’t
mind this type of the weather but as time moves forward the darker age beds itself
a little deeper in humanity and the earth’s core dims a bit more. I burrow down
in my blankets as unsettling thoughts creep into mind sending chills of energy
deep within my soul. Before I can completely bury myself in covers and pillows
I hear his footsteps enter the room. I peep out of my cover cave to see his
warm yellow eyes that could melt the ice off of any cold heart. I would have
leapt in his arms but the hard lines within his forehead expressed more concern
than joy. I knew the look as it was given to in our previous conversation of me
showing my ass and not pulling my part.
“You know I cannot do this. I don’t have the heart to do
it,” I say with a pleading tone.
“You will do this because you need to do this. You have no
choice,” he says sternly.
Like a child throwing a tantrum I bury myself once more in
my covers in hopes my tragic future endeavors will dissipate; I haven’t hunted
since I was young and even then I did not do everything on my own. Anyone can do anything that can put their
mind to but what is expected and what I thought I should do were on two
opposite ends of the spectrum. When it came to comparing mine and Scott’s perspectives
of life for the most part we seemed to meet eye to eye. Hunting was and is the
only thing that drew a line for disagreement. Unfortunately this line is
becoming less visible as the harsh winter has no mercy on our group’s survival;
our food supply was shortening more quickly and anyone returning were not
coming back with enough to keep stock.
Scott has not moved
and I know he is tired of having the same, broken record, argument. Repressing
my frustrations with a big sigh I fling the covers off of my head and walk
numbly over to the closet. I feel his stare as I open the closet and look
blankly at my winter wardrobe. Color almost nonexistent as every piece of
clothing consisting of dark greens, every color of brown and black, only boots
sit on the floor beneath, depressing.
