How to explain

Saying "I love you" has brought more meaning since I have met you
It has shown me how true those three words can be
And not even come close to a full explanation of how I feel
Like a current in the sea my thoughts drift with confusment and curiosity
A never ending pursuit of will to tell you what you mean to me
Talking to a lover from a distance.
We shape our future with daily conversations and never ending comfort
Our perceptions intertwine and mingle with others opinion of the thought
But there is none like our own
Yours is beyond what many could consider and yet here we are still dancing with the  future
The joy and love that you have brought to me is worth more to me than I could ever explain
How do I give to someone whom only gives from the deepest of his heart
How do I express myself to a man who is true to himself and me in a way of actions or words
I know I never want to lose you nor let you go, I couldn't if I tried
Words are difficult to form when I think of you but it's the only way I can express myself
Clearly; naturally and nude
How do I explain to you, my love, of such great importance when words are everything and nothing

KN

The Nomads of Lovers

Distance, as many lovers know, is not for the weak hearted or unsteady footed
 

It is a time where the relationship is tested between ones self and their partner

Time quickens and slows simultaneously as the meetings between them come and go

The hearts of the nomads have traveled whether it be through physical distance of life experiences or the stories listened and read by previous travelers and lovers

 

They trust in one another as if it was their own intuition God sent in physical form

No matter the hearts met before or after the flame that is shared between these lovers is infinite 

There are no boundaries nor expectations of where a normal, standard, relationship would stand.

This is deeper and the level of understanding is palpable as they unravel something new about each other with each meeting

Discoveries made only strengthening their handmade bonds. Surrounding themselves in a sanctuary, a temple of tranquility.

A kind of love that most only read or dream about. 

The depths are about as obvious as the undiscovered beauty of the sea. The length of time such wonders last is only measured by lifetimes because they even live in one another's dreams. 

KN

preview of a story I am writing about called "The Hunt"

   It seems like years since I have seen a blade of green grass arise from the white death others like to call snow. It is a never ending treacherous part of nature that bares the trees and leaves us scavenging for what is left for food. Normally I wouldn’t mind this type of the weather but as time moves forward the darker age beds itself a little deeper in humanity and the earth’s core dims a bit more. I burrow down in my blankets as unsettling thoughts creep into mind sending chills of energy deep within my soul. Before I can completely bury myself in covers and pillows I hear his footsteps enter the room. I peep out of my cover cave to see his warm yellow eyes that could melt the ice off of any cold heart. I would have leapt in his arms but the hard lines within his forehead expressed more concern than joy. I knew the look as it was given to in our previous conversation of me showing my ass and not pulling my part.

“You know I cannot do this. I don’t have the heart to do it,” I say with a pleading tone.

“You will do this because you need to do this. You have no choice,” he says sternly.

Like a child throwing a tantrum I bury myself once more in my covers in hopes my tragic future endeavors will dissipate; I haven’t hunted since I was young and even then I did not do everything on my own.  Anyone can do anything that can put their mind to but what is expected and what I thought I should do were on two opposite ends of the spectrum. When it came to comparing mine and Scott’s perspectives of life for the most part we seemed to meet eye to eye. Hunting was and is the only thing that drew a line for disagreement. Unfortunately this line is becoming less visible as the harsh winter has no mercy on our group’s survival; our food supply was shortening more quickly and anyone returning were not coming back with enough to keep stock.

   Scott has not moved and I know he is tired of having the same, broken record, argument. Repressing my frustrations with a big sigh I fling the covers off of my head and walk numbly over to the closet. I feel his stare as I open the closet and look blankly at my winter wardrobe. Color almost nonexistent as every piece of clothing consisting of dark greens, every color of brown and black, only boots sit on the floor beneath, depressing. 

venting

   The worst thing about having a mind like mine; I leave things open for possibilities but also leave too much open space to allow questions flood my thoughts like the Niagara Falls. It's like I am forever wondering and questioning my decisions. I cannot focus on one thing, ADD at it's all time high. I wasn't always like this but it seems my past makes me not only double but triple look at what I am doing and why I am doing it. Some people would look at it as a safety measure, constantly keeping check on myself, when it is actually a disaster in the making when I consider how fast I am able to change my mind. I am young and can accomplish a lot but I am trying to figure out who I am and where I SHOULD go. Not wanting to spend too much time in one area of studies or one residence hoping something will just hit me in the face and say "heyyyy, I have been looking for youuuuu!" I am drained and feel my heart dread the very thought of what possibilities my mind will lead me to next. Where do I find that map of destiny where it leads to life has to offer you or what direction do I need to walk so I feel more comfortable? I cannot for the life of me stay stable, once I am I find a way to drive myself to the edge of the cliff. Life is a journey, I understand that but I am not enjoying the ride if I am having to stop every five minutes to make sure I am going in the right direction or wondering if I turned right when I should have turned left!
   I feel like a slave when it comes to money. The supposed expression " you need to work hard to play hard" has lost it's meaning over time. Even money itself has lost its face value. How do you determine what is your worth your time and patience when the work your doing is for a good cause but the pay is not worth the insanity it creates? I can hear the voice inside me say " you can make it work" yet in the forefront all I can think is "how the hell am I going to pay for my gas this coming week?" Am I saving myself by putting in my notice or am I creating another hell for myself in the upcoming weeks? only time will tell.

Top hat

I rarely question a gesture like a tip of the hat.

A simple act of kindness with several meanings

I have yet to encounter someone offended by such

But others are not as willing to reciprocate decency

What happened to the polite manners of an individual?

Respect for others opinion and dignity

Self-absorbed in one’s independent nature

Unable to realize it only takes one person to create change

If everyone knew the universe returned such acts three fold

Do you think they would be more willing to tip their hat?

The Weaker Side

The demon seems to be equipped with the ultimate weapon

How would I truly know without the true facts laid blatantly in front of me

A woman of facts and a continuous analyzing mind

Why was I so willing to accept what seems to be lie

It was too easy to separate, too easy to run away from the pain

Now I am reaping what I sow, the seeds were frail and dry

Their time of harvest have been long past due

How am I supposed to eat when nothing ever grows

I have created a desert where not even the buzzards roam

How do I find the beauty in this place I call home

I want to fight, to stand up to the monster who haunts me terribly

But I restrain myself, creating a resistance greater than anyone could put on me

My past burdens me like a shadow, all day and night

Allowing it to create a weakness in my soul

Rucksack

I cannot continue on, knowing I can fix what I have done wrong

I stand in a grounded stance and ask for strength from above and beyond

Too long I have felt numb from the known energies that come naturally to me

Energies I ask and call upon you to help me find my true path, where I belong

Help allow me to open my heart to new paths and will to carry on

Grant me the strength and knowledge to know what is right and wrong

The power of sight to transparently see through the hidden lies

Help me bring upon my inner strength that I have tried far too long to hide

I feel it is time to armor myself with courage I had no idea I could find

To remain set on my path with open arms

I no longer have reason to restrain or constrict myself from my chosen path

Now is the time to face the truth and take back what is rightfully mine.

Day Dreamer

When I close my eyes at night, I try to dream of you.
 For you're in my thoughts all day, why should it be hard at night?
 My day dreams brisk me away to some place where I feel your warmth, no matter time of day or who previously filled my heart
My feet intermingle with yours, as we play our game of foot war.
Our arms wrap one another in a tight embrace as I listen to the music of your heart beating
Wishing for it to beat one with mine
For moments on in we separate ourselves from reality and slip into to a more comfortable setting,
 But I don't want to sleep, I want remain in this elevated state of mind.
Where nothing else matters but what we want to make of our lives.
 So many people walk through life without an idea of the simplistic high of life
 Lucky me I have you to bring me back to center and to continue to strive
 The light continues to shine even in the darkest of places.
 For your hand is the one i grasp in the darkest of these moments.
 No wonder it's hard to find you in my dreams for I am looking when I am awake.
 So next time when you ask if I dream of you at night
 remember I always looking for you no matter my state of mind.

Train Wreck

Baby you're a train wreck, with the illusion of either luck or a jinx.
 It's hard to separate the two when you lose the ones you never wanted to see die.
 Grief and sorrow mixed with relief and resentment; why the same place and exactly the same time?
Why don't you learn to step back And move away from the ongoing prediction.
It's hard to listen to the negative when it is about those you love.
You figure there is a way around it, you learn the system like the back of your hand.
But they aren't quick like you, they don't understand.
You step forward, they step back!
 Before you know it they have slipped on the train track.
 Like those before them, you have seen it played out.
It's different this time, the white lie you convince yourself to believe.
You grab their hand and with the luck from a draw their safe in your arms, and you feel so bold.
But then that chill creeps up, that luck won't last for long.
How much longer can you hide, before the reapers grim hands come to try to choke you against the wall. Torn between love and fear, what do you believe when only bad seems to happen near.
 The illusion of luck and a jinx intertwine with the body of courage and doubt.
An internal battle with no way but what looks to be a dark tunnel out.

Constriction

I have wrapped myself in a powerless cocoon.
The energy from the outside waiting for me to break free
but I cannot exert enough energy to reach for what is in front of me.
Why do I surround myself with judgement and meaningless dreams when before I was innocent and happy.
 I lay in bed and tears run down my cheeks, even there I cannot feel my own energy.
I'm exhausted and drained by an unknown shadow.
She lurks behind walls, living beyond the gallows.
This negative energy consumes and regurgitates all what I am and what I used to be.
How do I fight what is beyond the realm of the naked eye?
How do I peel away the disguise without looking for some where to hide?
I'm screaming at the top of my lungs from the inside but sound proof walls barricade my lonely cries.
I need to be released, I need to find a way out.
This claustrophobic silence is enough make anyone lose consciousness 

Stay at Home Mom Vs. School

   Any mom, especially one who is a stay home mom, should be more than willing to seek out education and have that knowledge either on the back burner or willing to put it towards something that they can currently use while being at home. No matter if you are single or in a relationship, having the knowledge towards a specific career is more than helpful when the family is going through a hard time or for your own benefits! Ever heard of the saying “if you don’t use it, you lose it!” Keeping that brain stimulation will not only make you feel more valuable but also keep you up to par with the new information streaming around in the world of education. There are more than a few to name who are accredited and willing to work around the dreaded busy schedule of Mom’s who are busy from the time they get up in the morning until their feet hit the couch soon after the kids go to bed. Several schools have a schedule set up where you attend one class every five weeks and have enough information to allow you to still learn but keep up with your schedule at home. It is a routine that takes a while to put into a regimen but once you get the flow going, there is nothing that can stop you from learning. Women have a tendency to fall in between the cracks of their self-worth when it comes to staying at home, especially if one worked before. How degrading it can be when you are used to having so much freedom but it came to the point where it was too much stress than worth to keep your schedule intertwined with everyone else. Young moms lose their determination for education due to the fact of the hardships they could have endured in high school and/or ones soon after, right at the beginning of college. College is based on the maturity of the individual and if you don’t have the drive then knowledge is going to be hard to obtain whether it be young or old. Planning ahead and using the experiences you have to bring yourself out of the rut of the unknown will only broaden horizons for yourself and your family. It’s a liberating feeling when you know you can accomplish so much just from the comforts of your home.  Keep your mind open to knowledge and will to push forward to improve yourself. Attending college can be frightening but it is a goal anyone can set for themselves and feel the positive gain once they have broken that invisible barrier that had been holding them back.

Positive outlook on home gardening (sample for examiner)

   Home gardening has become more of a necessity as we draw ourselves in with the hardships of the economy and higher prices of foods in the super markets. Going to the store you can nearly double the price of any fruit or vegetable you buy from the shelf as compared to before. Although gardening consists of more time and energy imagine the money one could save and how much more of an individual’s health would benefit growing vegetables in a home or backyard. Avoid having to make a quick run to the grocery store just to pick up a few tomatoes or lemons but in the meantime fill up the cart with things you do not necessarily need but found it most convenient. Caring for our health and spending habits will have more than a positive outcome in the long run so why not take the extra time to meet our needs and create a healthier stable environment as well. We have all become consumed with knowledge at our fingertips but less likely to run out and utilize it because we are too stuck on the research rather than exerting our energy to experiment. Life is too short to not try new things and make it simple enough to enjoy what we can of it.

   Helping save money on gas and grocery bill, avoiding GMO’s and more than likely cutting down our health bill are a few of which could come to mind when you think of possible benefits of home gardening. Getting the healthy nutrients the body needs the right way and the satisfaction of you knowing where some of your food came from. No leering questions like “how long has this been sitting on the shelf?” or worries of whether or not something has been recalled due to chemicals that have caused poisoning. Gardening is also great exercise just right outside of the home and allows you to be a part of a simple DIY project that maybe could lead to others!